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changing limits

According to anecdotal evidence (read: a quick Google search), the average college student changes his or her major three times before graduating. The fact that I never once changed mine -- did that make me an above average college student? -- or below?

I had a roommate who seemed to change his major three times a semester. I didn't get what was so hard about choosing a course of study and sticking to it. Looking back, perhaps he was a bit wiser than me. If you can't afford to change your mind a million times during college when else will you be able to?

Yet, I know I'm only limiting myself if I think my career has to be confined to what I studied in college.

(I can't believe it's been almost three years since I graduated.)

anxious arms

I woke up around 3:30 am this morning and haven't been able to resume my slumber (it's currently 5:02 am). This used to happen to me more often than it does now, about once a month, now it only occurs once every two to three months (for that I am grateful). I never know what it is that wakes me but it's anxiety that I won't be able to fall back asleep and get a full night's rest that keeps me awake. Which seems a bit poetic.

In my general anxious state, my worried mind conjures up other thoughts that seem to only increase the anxiety. For example, where am I going to be live when my apartment lease is up at the end of the month? (I'm trying to buy a house in the historic neighborhood just to the north of where I live now, and I'm doubtful that I will find one I love and close on it before March 31.)

Also contributing to my anxiety:

• What will I have for dinner tonight?
• I can't get "Codes and Keys" by Death Cab for Cutie out of my head. What's worse, I can't find a quality version of the song on YouTube or SoundCloud to embed in this post.
• What am I supposed to do with the rest of my life? (This is a big one.)
• How can I save money (or make more money) to travel more?

When I wake up in the early AM I can usually tell whether or not it will take me a couple hours to fall back asleep. About half an hour in, I start to wonder if there is something I should be doing to better spend my time than wishing to be asleep. My current options include:

• Cleaning my apartment. And taking care of that huge pile of dishes in my sink.
• Reading. I just started John Steinbeck's hefty biography. At 1168 pages it's not something I will finish anytime soon (I'll most likely read it in sections).
• Watching Pushing Daisies. I only saw a few episodes of this show before it was cancelled and since then, I've only seen a couple more. So I was happy to discover that Prime members can watch it for free on Amazon. I know this doesn't count as a better use of my time but I'm going to get around to watching it all sooner or later so why not knock out a couple episodes since I've got nothing else going on.
• Journal writing. I say that like I do this every now and then -- I don't -- but I'd like to make a habit of it so I should probably start.

Well, it's 5:36 am now, which means I've been awake long enough to be able to fall back asleep. And it will probably take me a good 15 minutes to proofread this, so I'll wrap this up now.

Good night/morning.

revolution

I haven't posted anything in over a month and I don't really have a reason for being absent. But I felt the need to point it out. In case you didn't miss me. Anyway, moving on.

Recently I've made a few changes to my music consumption habits. When I bought a new car last May, for whatever reason I started listening to fewer CDs while I drive, preferring to listen to my iPod on shuffle. And now, when I listen to entire albums as I drive, I often use my iPod instead of digging out a compact disc. As a result, I purchase far fewer CDs. (I'm not sure how having a new car forced this change upon me as my last automobile was just as capable of connecting my iPod through an auxiliary input.)

(I've also been buying less vinyl, but that has more to do with my wanting to save money and is neither here nor there.)

Buying fewer CDs has led me to download more, almost always from Amazon MP3 (the exception is when I buy a record that comes with a download card). While I enjoy the convenience of downloading, it's nowhere near as fun as buying an actual CD or record (nothing beats buying a record. Except for live music (be it playing or spectating)). Since I find less joy in downloading I don't listen to as much new music as I used to. So I started using Spotify (the free version, which has the most annoying ads of all time) as an attempt to remedy that.

At work I switch off between Spotify -- to check out albums and tracks that I would consider purchasing -- and Amazon Cloud Player -- for stuff that I've already bought. I'm seriously considering trying out Spotify Premium: all-you-can-eat music on any device (well, not my iPod) for $10 a month sounds like an OK deal. Sure, that monthly fee adds up but it wouldn't be hard to save that $10 somewhere else -- not eating out two times in one month would account for that and then some.

However, I'm adverse to the idea of using Spotify on my phone. Why? It will kill the battery in no time. "Just get a car charger for your phone," you say? Yeah, that's an option. I should probably have one anyway. What really scares me, if I make the leap to Spotify it's highly unlikely I'll download much of anything. (Unless it's like my favorite band or something, or if, again, I purchase an album on vinyl and it comes with a download card.)

I know what your next question will be, "Why do you have to download your music?" I just really like owning my music (the reasons for said idiosyncrasy are topic enough for another post). Furthermore, I like detaching from my phone sometimes and using my iPod, where I can't access Twitter, Facebook, email, texts, the internet, you get the idea. (It's sad that going from one electronic device to one that is less sophisticated is my idea of "detaching.")

So you see, making the leap to Spotify encompasses so much more than forking over a paltry $10 a month. It's the beginning of a possible revolution of my music consumption habits. In short, it's a big deal.

What would you do?

preserving the integrity of the English language, part 2

Last summer I wrote a post decrying the use of a powerful word that has since been rendered meaningless by its improper usage and overuse, the word "epic." Today I'd like to talk about another word in common parlance that has suffered even greater mistreatment. The word is "awkward."

If you logged onto Facebook over the weekend you likely saw this captioned photo of (left to right) Matthew Lewis, Rupert Grint, Harry Potter, er, I mean Daniel Radcliffe, and Tom Felton. I imagine it was taken after a performance of the Broadway musical How To Succeed In Business Without Really Trying starring Harry Potter as Daniel Radcliffe as J. Pierrepont Finch (was that joke funnier the first or second time? Let me know in the comments below). (Apparently no one told Rupert about the taboo of wearing the t-shirt of the performance you're seeing to the actual performance.)

Image from here

I'm trying to understand this "awkward moment," and in the hope of doing so, I've consulted the collective knowledge of famed lexicographers Noah Webster and the brothers Merriam, Charles and George.

Definition of AWKWARD

1 obsolete : perverse [Had we been discussing the sex appeal of these four young men 10 years ago at the debut of the first Harry Potter film then, yes, this obsolete definition would be quite fitting.]

2 archaic : unfavorable, adverse [Any man might find it unfavorable or adverse to be less attractive than the next guy but Rupert Grint, Daniel Radcliffe and Tom Felton have a fairly large advantage over the "next guy": they were in all those Harry Potter movies.]

3 a : lacking dexterity or skill (as in the use of hands) [This misuse of awkward has nothing to do with dexterity.]

3 b : showing the result of a lack of expertness [Perhaps the author of the caption thought the juxtaposition of Rupert, Daniel and Tom next to ugly-duckling-turned-swan Matthew Lewis appeared awkward, revealing their "lack of expertness" in being "hot." However, since the author is quite clear that the awkwardness lies in Matthew's becoming the "hottest" of the lot, this definition does not fit; in the case of these four gents, I believe overall "hotness" has to do more with heredity than some acquired expertise.]

4 a : lacking ease or grace (as of movement or expression) [Sure, this isn't the most flattering photo of Ron, Harry and Draco but the usage of awkward here has nothing to do with how they look at a given moment.]

4 b : lacking the right proportions, size, or harmony of parts [Uh, one way for things to get awkward quickly would be to start talking about the "harmony of parts" and "proportions." Moving on...]

5 a : lacking social grace and assurance [The fact that these four would pose together for what appears to be a casual photo infers friendship, for which at least a small amount of "social grace and assurance" is required.]

5 b : causing embarrassment [I think this is the definition of awkward the captioneer* had in mind. Who is embarrassed here? Matthew, Rupert, Daniel, and Tom all look quite comfortable in each other's presence. Is this one of those situation where we're supposed to be embarrassed for them? Sure, "that unexpected moment" certainly doesn't have the same ring to it but it's the phrase the captioneer should have used.]

6 : not easy to handle or deal with : requiring great skill, ingenuity, or care [What skill is required to deal with the fact that Matthew Lewis ended up "hotter" than his Harry Potter co-stars?]

I have nothing against the word awkward, I'm simply attempting to advocate its proper use. Consider eliminating the word from your personal vernacular for a few months and employing one of its many synonyms in its place. Your vocabulary will thank you.

*Is it hypocritical of me to use made-up words in a post that deals with the abuse of language?

Alice et le clown

For an assignment in a French writing class a few weeks back, we had to write a quick story using a small bank of words provided in a textbook. I started writing and about three paragraphs in, I went back and reread the instructions -- keep the story 100 words or less. Having written almost three times that, I trimmed my story to fit the assignment.

I revisited the three-paragraph version of the story last week to give it a conclusion. The story is about two friends travelling through Germany. Out of the two, Alice begins to believe she is going crazy as she catches brief glimpses of the same strange clown in each city they visit. Not the most original premise, I know, but I enjoyed writing it. I've hastily titled it "Alice et le clown" ("Alice and the Clown"). I thought about including an English translation but decided against it. So if you can't read French or use Google Translate* you're out of luck.

(I'm sure this thing is rife with errors since my French ain't what it used to be.)

"Alice et le clown"

Nous arrivâmes à la gare de Düsseldorf au départ du dernier train jusqu’au matin. « Zut ! » s’écria Alice, une chère amie avec qui je voyageais depuis une semaine, « Le train est parti ! » Je la rencontrai lors de ma dernière année d’université où j’étudiais la littérature européenne à l’étranger à Londres. Je la vit la première fois à la bibliothèque où elle travaillait et ce fut en m’aidant à trouver un volume rare de Léon Tolstoï que je tombai amoureux avec elle.

Cependant, ces sentiments d’amour n’existaient pas chez elle. Quand même, on s’entendait bien et elle accepta de m’accompagner pendant un voyage de recherche littéraire de deux semaines en Allemagne. Notre premier après-midi à Berlin, en revenant seule d’une sortie pour une tasse de thé, Alice remarqua quelque chose de très bizarre à l’extérieur de notre hôtel : un vieux clown aux cheveux jaunes citron qui portait un habit saumon d’un temps ancien longtemps passé. Quand nous sortîmes ensemble pour dîner le clown n’y était plus.

Deux jours plus tard, Alice le vit entrer un magasin à Hambourg. Curieuse, elle insista que nous le suivions mais dans le magasin on ne trouvait aucun clown. Quand elle l’aperçut à Hanovre le lendemain elle commençait à se croire folle. Et enfin, à Düsseldorf, après l’avoir vu sortir du café où nous terminions le soir, elle demanda en larmes que nous partions pour Paris où habitent ses parents.

Alors, nous sommes seuls au quai de la gare. Des larmes apparaissent aux coins de ses yeux et elles coulent sur ses joues au battement des paupières. Elle se met à grelotter de froid. Je sais qu’elle n’est pas folle mais je n’arrive pas à voir ce qu’elle voit. Je m’approche près d’elle et la serre dans mes bras.

*Unsurprisingly, the Google translation isn't entirely comprehensible but my bad French might be as much to blame for that.

you make my dreams

I spent just enough time driving yesterday to listen to the soundtrack from Amélie by Yann Tiersen. I'd love to be able to write music like this -- instrumental music with great melodies, not necessarily complicated but layered. Here's a sample:

Yann Tiersen - La Valse d'Amelie by nurseda_cagatay

Really, the hardest part of writing a song like this would be composing the melodies, which I think has more to do with inherent talent than a technical knowledge of music.

I had a dream last night that I heard this great arpeggiated chord progression in my head. I struggled to pick it out on the guitar. Eventually I failed to recall the arpeggiation and soon I was unable to play the simple chord progression itself.

In terms of events this dream is far from interesting, but what is interesting is that somehow my brain created this complex melody in my head as I slept. (That or my brain tricked me into thinking I come up with this melody. Which might be likely.)

This isn't the first time my brain has written songs for me during that most sublime form of nocturnal respite known as sleep. Last summer I dreamed about hearing this new Peter Cetera song -- I could hear everything in my head, guitars, keyboard, drums, vocals -- it was all incredibly vivid. (I'm pretty sure my brain drew heavily on Bon Iver's love-it-or-hate-it "Beth/Rest" for inspiration since that song could be tacked on to a Peter Cetera album without anyone knowing the difference.)

My favorite YouTube comment for this video: "this song is like going to a really nice restaurant and getting served a bologna sandwich only to find out that it is the most amazing thing you have ever eaten."

So now I'm trying to determine if I'm really this talented musician while I sleep or if I my brain is just making me think I am.