Friday, March 2, 2012

anxious arms

I woke up around 3:30 am this morning and haven't been able to resume my slumber (it's currently 5:02 am). This used to happen to me more often than it does now, about once a month, now it only occurs once every two to three months (for that I am grateful). I never know what it is that wakes me but it's anxiety that I won't be able to fall back asleep and get a full night's rest that keeps me awake. Which seems a bit poetic.

In my general anxious state, my worried mind conjures up other thoughts that seem to only increase the anxiety. For example, where am I going to be live when my apartment lease is up at the end of the month? (I'm trying to buy a house in the historic neighborhood just to the north of where I live now, and I'm doubtful that I will find one I love and close on it before March 31.)

Also contributing to my anxiety:

  • What will I have for dinner tonight?
  • I can't get "Codes and Keys" by Death Cab for Cutie out of my head. What's worse, I can't find a quality version of the song on YouTube or SoundCloud to embed in this post.
  • What am I supposed to do with the rest of my life? (This is a big one.)
  • How can I save money (or make more money) to travel more?

When I wake up in the early AM I can usually tell whether or not it will take me a couple hours to fall back asleep. About half an hour in, I start to wonder if there is something I should be doing to better spend my time than wishing to be asleep. My current options include:

  • Cleaning my apartment. And taking care of that huge pile of dishes in my sink.
  • Reading. I just started John Steinbeck's hefty biography. At 1168 pages it's not something I will finish anytime soon (I'll most likely read it in sections).
  • Watching Pushing Daisies. I only saw a few episodes of this show before it was cancelled and since then, I've only seen a couple more. So I was happy to discover that Prime members can watch it for free on Amazon. I know this doesn't count as a better use of my time but I'm going to get around to watching it all sooner or later so why not knock out a couple episodes since I've got nothing else going on.
  • Journal writing. I say that like I do this every now and then -- I don't -- but I'd like to make a habit of it so I should probably start.

Well, it's 5:36 am now, which means I've been awake long enough to be able to fall back asleep. And it will probably take me a good 15 minutes to proofread this, so I'll wrap this up now.

Good night/morning.


  1. Good Morning, Myke
    I enjoyed this. I hope you're not too tired today. Also, We're looking for jobs in AZ. Maybe we'll be neighbors.

  2. 1. quinoa
    2. why not this:
    3. go to the forum.
    4. i've been meaning to talk to you about these awesome new energy drinks that me and all my friends have been selling...

    you're welcome.

  3. I want to travel more as well. When I came home today the movie "The Social Network" was showing on my TV even though no one was in the room watching. I learned that all we need to do to address the whole "money issue" is create a popular website and then get Justin Timberlake to tell us how to make money from it.

    Also, @ZacharyPaul . . . . wha?!?!?!?!!!!???!?!?!?!??????!!!!!