Friday, March 2, 2012

anxious arms

I woke up around 3:30 am this morning and haven't been able to resume my slumber (it's currently 5:02 am). This used to happen to me more often than it does now, about once a month, now it only occurs once every two to three months (for that I am grateful). I never know what it is that wakes me but it's anxiety that I won't be able to fall back asleep and get a full night's rest that keeps me awake. Which seems a bit poetic.

In my general anxious state, my worried mind conjures up other thoughts that seem to only increase the anxiety. For example, where am I going to be live when my apartment lease is up at the end of the month? (I'm trying to buy a house in the historic neighborhood just to the north of where I live now, and I'm doubtful that I will find one I love and close on it before March 31.)

Also contributing to my anxiety:

  • What will I have for dinner tonight?
  • I can't get "Codes and Keys" by Death Cab for Cutie out of my head. What's worse, I can't find a quality version of the song on YouTube or SoundCloud to embed in this post.
  • What am I supposed to do with the rest of my life? (This is a big one.)
  • How can I save money (or make more money) to travel more?

When I wake up in the early AM I can usually tell whether or not it will take me a couple hours to fall back asleep. About half an hour in, I start to wonder if there is something I should be doing to better spend my time than wishing to be asleep. My current options include:

  • Cleaning my apartment. And taking care of that huge pile of dishes in my sink.
  • Reading. I just started John Steinbeck's hefty biography. At 1168 pages it's not something I will finish anytime soon (I'll most likely read it in sections).
  • Watching Pushing Daisies. I only saw a few episodes of this show before it was cancelled and since then, I've only seen a couple more. So I was happy to discover that Prime members can watch it for free on Amazon. I know this doesn't count as a better use of my time but I'm going to get around to watching it all sooner or later so why not knock out a couple episodes since I've got nothing else going on.
  • Journal writing. I say that like I do this every now and then -- I don't -- but I'd like to make a habit of it so I should probably start.

Well, it's 5:36 am now, which means I've been awake long enough to be able to fall back asleep. And it will probably take me a good 15 minutes to proofread this, so I'll wrap this up now.

Good night/morning.

3 comments:

  1. Good Morning, Myke
    I enjoyed this. I hope you're not too tired today. Also, We're looking for jobs in AZ. Maybe we'll be neighbors.

    ReplyDelete
  2. 1. quinoa
    2. why not this: http://youtu.be/3tQrcTwGVNE
    3. go to the forum.
    4. i've been meaning to talk to you about these awesome new energy drinks that me and all my friends have been selling...

    you're welcome.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I want to travel more as well. When I came home today the movie "The Social Network" was showing on my TV even though no one was in the room watching. I learned that all we need to do to address the whole "money issue" is create a popular website and then get Justin Timberlake to tell us how to make money from it.

    Also, @ZacharyPaul . . . . wha?!?!?!?!!!!???!?!?!?!??????!!!!!

    ReplyDelete